


What I've Ruined (I Will Fix)

by PolypusRegina



Series: A Gentle Touch [5]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Tiny Bits of Mind-Reading, so many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 17:51:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6089020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolypusRegina/pseuds/PolypusRegina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It wasn’t until he refused to let Kylo anywhere near him that he realized the truth. Their weakness didn’t come from being together. It came from when they were apart. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I've Ruined (I Will Fix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oorsprong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oorsprong/gifts).



> Part 5 of the Gentle Touch series!  
> If you haven't read the 4th ( **No One (No One Is Like You)** ) please do! This one will make so much more sense. But if you don't, I hope you'll still enjoy the porn and feelings anyway~

It felt like the previous night all over again.   
  
Hux finished his work that evening and retired to his quarters. Alone. He debated getting ready for bed. Alone.  
  
He’d stayed up a bit later than usual, perhaps unconsciously seeking out new distractions to keep him occupied. But when the time came for him to call it a night and force himself to get some rest, he knew he had a decision to make.  
  
He hadn’t forgotten the promise he’d made to Kylo the night before—hadn’t forgotten the heartbreakingly lost expression written across the Knight’s features as he cupped his cheek and told him they both needed their rest, that they’d talk again in the morning. Except when the morning finally came, that didn’t happen. The medics came to finish their work, and with it, they eliminated any chance Hux had to speak with Kylo in peace. In some ways, it felt like a blessing in disguise, giving him a good excuse to escape. But on the other hand, he didn’t want to keep running from what he felt. He didn’t want to keep avoiding Kylo like a lovesick teenager unable to process what they were feeling. 

Until last night, he’d been so sure of himself, sure that he knew what he needed to do, no matter how painful. It hadn’t been easy, but he knew it was the right course of action. It wasn’t until things finally began to fall apart that he realized maybe he wasn’t strong enough to follow through with what needed to be done. 

Or maybe  _Kylo_ wasn’t strong enough for him to follow through with it. Kylo, who’d clearly managed to surprise even himself with how strongly he felt.

But…No, no, ‘strong’ isn’t the right word for it. Kylo was the strongest person he’d ever known. It wasn’t weakness that foiled Hux’s plan. He wanted to believe that it was, that they were  _weak_ for seeking comfort in each other’s arms.

That they were becoming too soft, too dependent on one another.

It wasn’t until he refused to let Kylo anywhere near him that he realized the truth. Their weakness didn’t come from being together. It came from when they were apart. 

The realization turned his stomach to lead, overwhelming and intense and yet…unsurprising. As if he’d known the truth all along, and he’d just been fighting so hard to ignore it, to insist that it wasn’t true at all. But night after night, it burrowed its way deeper into his chest, curled into the dark corners of his ribcage like a restless serpent looking for a place to coil up and sleep at last. The more Hux fought it, the more pain he caused himself. And worst of all, the more pain he caused Kylo. And for what? Nothing but his own foolish ego, insisting that he had to be right. 

But as Hux paced from one end of his room to the other, he knew he wasn’t fixing the problems he’d caused, not like this. No matter how many personal revelations he might have in a night, he wasn’t doing either of them any favors by keeping them all trapped in his head. It might have felt like a huge step forward, admitting he’d been wrong…But what did it matter, if he couldn’t find the courage to admit it aloud to the one person who deserved to hear it?

And just like the night before, Hux left the relative comfort of his own quarters in search of Ren’s, headstrong and determined to  _do_ something this time. Not that he hadn’t before, not exactly…He refused to think about what might have happened if he hadn’t stumbled across Kylo when he did. But in the end he still ran, didn’t he? He refused to give the Knight an actual answer and disappeared when the first opportunity presented itself.

That’s where tonight was going to be different.

 Hux gave the courtesy of two short knocks before he let himself in, feeling as though it was appropriate to do so, given the fact that Kylo never once waited to be let in to the General’s quarters. And maybe it also had to do with the fear of losing his nerve if he was forced to stand there for even a second too long.

So he all but barged right in, prepared to state his case as though he were already being accused of something. But once he was two steps inside, he glanced around realized he’d just stormed in to an empty room.   
Hux felt himself deflate a little, the tension in his shoulders loosening from equal parts relief and disappointment. It was a strange feeling as he stood there, wondering where Kylo had gone, wondering what he’d thought when he’d woken alone. 

Hux cursed himself under his breath, scrubbing his hands over his face and back through his hair as he realized he was faced with another decision to make. He could leave. He could turn around and head right back out and no one would ever know he’d been there in the first place. Or he could stay, and wait. Surely Kylo would have to return sooner or later. 

But it wasn’t such an easy choice for Hux. Maybe this was a sign that Kylo wouldn’t want to see him. 

Ren’s bed was neatly made again, the sheets looking as though they’d recently been changed. Which was a good thing, because the last set was probably smeared with blood. Hux had that sinking feeling again, dreading the idea that Kylo might have actually forced himself out of bed to resume his training. Yes, he was technically healed…but his body still needed rest. Or at the very least, anything that  _wasn’t_ some highly vigorous physical conditioning. And Hux had no way of knowing just how long Kylo had been up. And perhaps more importantly at that moment, he had no way of knowing when Kylo would return. 

Hux was just about ready to admit defeat, ready to call it a failed attempt and go trudging back to his own lonely quarters when he heard the door open behind him. He stiffened a little as if he'd been caught trespassing, a lump caught in his throat as he froze in place. 

"Don't look so tense, General," came a familiar voice from behind him, familiar words, sounding a bit tired. Maybe even a little  _teasing,_ even through the tell-tale rasp of a metal mask.

Hux couldn't stop himself. 

"How else am I supposed to look, when I've just been caught barging into someone else's private quarters?" 

There's a ghost of a grin tugging at his lips as he says it, a small little blossom of warmth in his chest when everything feels so cold and suffocating. He swore he could hear Ren's soft laugh when there probably wasn't any noise at all. Maybe it was merely wishful thinking. 

Hux finally risked a glance over his shoulder then, spying Kylo there in the doorway. He was fully dressed, his hood pulled up over his helmet, and Hux couldn't help the little shiver that darted up his spine at the sight. But it was hard to tell if it was the good kind of shiver, or the bad. Usually by the time Kylo came to him, he was at least unmasked. 

Luckily, it didn't stay that way for long. Just as soon as Kylo had stepped inside and let the door shut behind him, he reached up to push his cowl back and removed his helmet shortly after. Hux almost felt like he might breathe a sigh of relief, seeing his face again. 

Hux finally turned all the way around to face him, watching as Ren tugged at the thick scarf around his shoulders, pulling it free so he could set it aside with his helmet. He didn't seem to be moving with any difficulty, Hux noted almost gratefully. 

"I wasn't sure I'd see you again," Kylo said almost offhandedly, not quite meeting Hux's gaze as he stepped over toward his wardrobe and continued undressing, as if Hux might not have even been there at all. 

"I know I said we'd talk in the morning, but I--...they said you needed your rest, that you might just sleep all day," Hux answered, trying not to become too defensive. Especially when he knew he was the one in the wrong, here. He'd come to apologize and make things right, not to make Kylo hate him even more than he already did. 

Kylo finally did glance over at Hux then, eyeing him almost skeptically before he unfastened the wide belt around his waist. 

"I did. Slept most of the day. Woke up feeling like I'd been out for weeks...Thought I should make myself useful for the rest of the day, since I'd missed my training anyway." 

Hux caught himself too late to try and stop the way his shoulders sagged little in relief, breathing out a shallow sort of sigh. It was a small comfort, at least, that Kylo hadn't immediately returned to the training gyms--as if his only real worth came from his ability to take a beating. 

Hux was quiet for a moment, struggling to find the right words. And that was rare for him. It felt like his heart was lodged in his throat as he watched Kylo shrug off his heavier outer robes, and felt like it was some sort of cruel visual countdown. Once he'd finished undressing, Hux's time would be up and Kylo would make him leave. Or so it would seem. 

"I knew you needed your rest," Hux repeated, refusing to lose his nerve so quickly. He wasn't going to let Kylo intimidate him. "And I had other obligations to tend to while you did. So I'm here now, and I won't have you wave me off like an inferior officer." 

Kylo returned his gaze to Hux then, looking almost mildly surprised by the heat in his words. The knight shoved his discarded clothing aside, haphazardly tucking everything into its rightful place before he moved away from his wardrobe and turned toward Hux, who was suddenly wondering if he should have chosen his words more carefully. 

Kylo didn't say a word as he approached him, and it was a little unnerving. But Hux still considered it a victory if Ren was willingly approaching him at all. And so he stood his ground, but hoped desperately that his determination wouldn't be misinterpreted as hostility. 

"I promised you that we'd talk, and that's what I want to do," he added a little more softly, watching Kylo close the space between them. They were very nearly close enough to touch. Nearly. 

"Did you come here to explain why I've become such a nuisance to you?" 

Kylo's words earned a stunned sort of expression from Hux, eyes widening for a second before he managed to get ahold of himself. The Knight's tone was hardened by an understandable anger, but beneath it Hux could hear the delicate fracture of disappointment, of fear and rejection. All the emotions he worked so hard to hide. Hux had to wonder if he was the only one who ever even noticed them there in the first place.

"What? No. I'm--...You're not a  _nuisance_ to me," he answered, desperately fighting with his own rising frustration. But not all of it was directed at Kylo. In fact, nearly none of it was. "Maybe you don't remember everything I said last night, about...how I thought I knew what was best for  _both_ of us.”

Kylo huffed out a breath through his nose and glanced away, either admitting he remembered every word, or that he didn’t remember a thing. Hux supposed it didn’t really matter which.

"For all that you can read a person like an open book, it doesn't seem like you've tried very hard with me." 

Kylo fixed him with a baffled sort of look then, his expression giving way to more wounded anger before he promptly turned his back to Hux in an anxious rush.

"Do you hear the things you say sometimes, General?" He muttered, dragging his hands through dark hair as he took one step away from him, and then another. "You tell me to stay out of your head, yet you expect me to always know what you're thinking. You tell me we shouldn't be together, that we were never meant for each other, and yet you come back to me night after night--..." Kylo froze then, arms dropping back down to his sides, head tipped toward one shoulder as if he wants to look back at Hux but can't bring himself to do so. Hux can barely even hear him when he adds: 

"You tell me you care about me, and then disappear when I want to tell you the same." 

Hux hadn't moved an inch from where he stood, now rooted to the spot more than ever. His chest went tight again, but it's the good kind and the bad kind all at once, that restless serpent rattling around inside his ribcage with a death grip on his lungs. 

Kylo still had his back to him as well, but suddenly it seemed as though the Knight was  _exhausted_ , his body shrinking in on itself a little. As if it had taken a physical toll on him, admitting that much aloud. 

Hux finally found the strength to move then, his brain kicking back into gear as he followed in Ren's footsteps, one hand outstretched toward him.

"Kylo--"

Just as quickly as he'd turned his back on him the first time, Kylo spun on his heel to face him once more, and somehow, the movement almost managed to feel even more defensive. Like an animal being backed into a corner. If Hux didn't know any better, he'd think Kylo looks  _scared_ , eyes gone wide as they flickered over the General like he was caught in the middle of that 'fight or flight' impulse. 

Hux was stunned into silence for a moment, hand still tentatively raised before he let his fingers curl back in toward his palm, pulled away from Kylo slowly.  _Don't be a threat._

"You're right, you know. I disappeared. I ran. Because I'd convinced myself it was the right thing to do. Because I was afraid of what I felt for you, and what it meant for us. And I came here to tell you that I was wrong."

 For once, Kylo didn't let his gaze wander from Hux's face. His eyes stayed glued to the General's, almost looking like he was staring at some figment of his imagination. But Hux quickly decided that the look of disbelief he was given was infinitely better than the one of fear. And when Kylo stayed quiet, he gathered the courage to continue. 

"I told you I was worried that we were setting ourselves up for an inconceivable amount of pain. And...maybe we are. But if the past few days have taught me anything, it's that we're stronger when we're together than we are when we're apart. So what's the point of denying ourselves now, in causing ourselves so much pain, all in an effort to protect a future we know so little about?" 

Hux barely even processed the words before they tumbled free, his overactive mind falling silent for once as the sentiment flowed from some place much, much deeper. It was honestly a little terrifying; his chest laid open and bare, waiting to see if Kylo would deem him worthy of a second chance, or simply reach inside and tear his heart out. 

But it seemed as though maybe Kylo still hadn’t yet decided.

“What are you saying, Hux?”

Heartbreakingly hopeful, skeptical in the worst sort of way. A question he likely already knew the answer to.

“I’m saying…The first night we spent together, I asked you why you came to me. You told me you needed me, do you remember? And last night. I heard it again. You needed me.”

Kylo finally did look away then, almost looking embarrassed,  _ashamed_ of what he was being told.  _But dammit that wasn’t the point._ Hux took the opportunity while he had it, taking that last step between them until he could reach up to take Kylo’s face into his hands, gently cradling his jaw but not forcing the Knight to meet his gaze as he hastened to continue.

“Kylo, listen to me, I--…I won’t pretend to know exactly what this is between us. But I’d be a fool if I continued to ignore it, because as much as you claim to need me, I need you just as much. If not more so. You were just the only one strong enough to admit it.”

For a brief, terrifying second, Hux was sure he’d lost. He’d wasted the one chance he had, fumbling over his words, and Kylo wasn’t going to be convinced.

But then Kylo’s gaze finally flickered over to meet his own. And a moment later, Hux feels his head follow the same path, until they’re facing each other barely an inch apart.

“You need me.”

It’s a question spoken as a statement, Kylo trying to reassure himself. In Hux’s reply, there isn’t the smallest fraction of doubt.

“I need you.”

Another beat. Another silent realization.

“You  _want_ me.”

Hux is sure of that, too.

“I want you.”

In the end, it’s impossible to tell who caves first. It’s the last thing on Hux’s mind when there are warm lips against his own, and he nearly sobs his relief.

But while there’s certainly heat behind the action, it’s the furthest thing from a vicious clash of teeth and tongue. It’s so painfully soft, breath mingling with his own as he presses forward to coax Kylo’s mouth open, asking permission to do what he’s denied himself for too long.

And maybe they still have more to talk about. No--Hux is certain they do. But none of it seems important enough to worry about, especially not right now. It would take far more than that to have him pulling away, because it feels so remarkably like he'd finally gotten his first breath of air when he didn't even realize he'd been drowning, filling his lungs and swelling his chest as he clutches at Kylo. And if he can pick up on any hint of emotions at all, he'd hazard a guess that Kylo might be feeling something similar. 

(Or maybe it's not so much of a guess at all, not when it feels like they're sharing the same thoughts, Kylo's pulse pounding in his own veins in a way that's new and terrifying and amazing.)

Hux has to wonder if he should stop. If it would be irresponsible, letting things continue when they were both so caught up in the moment. As if they might not be thinking with level heads, the way they should be. But then Kylo's hands are smoothing up his sides and around to his back, curling into the fabric of his shirt, and it feels like a silent answer to his question. Until Kylo gives him a decidedly verbal one, still panting against his mouth.

"You want me," he says again, a little more fiercely, a little more awed, voice trembling just a touch.

Hux is powerless to respond with anything but another echo, matching his desperate need. It isn’t just a matter of lust. He doesn’t just want Kylo’s body. He wants everything that the Knight will give him, for as long as he’s allowed to have it.

" _I want you."_

It’s only a matter of seconds before they take the last two steps back to Kylo’s bed, still caught up in a clumsy kiss and even clumsier hands, tugging at each other’s clothing without any real goal in mind. But when they hit the side of the mattress, Hux forces himself to stop just long enough to actually think. And to his credit, Kylo actually fixes him with a patiently expectant sort of look instead of just shoving him onto his back.

But even once Hux knows what he wants, he doesn’t quite voice it aloud, not just yet. Instead, he simply turns his attention to Kylo’s remaining clothes, pressing in close to slip his hands up under his black ribbed shirt, savoring the slide of his palms over Kylo’s overheated skin as he pushes it up. From there, they both become like-minded, pushing and prodding and tugging at each other’s clothing, only occasionally stopping long enough to claim another kiss. Hux doesn’t want to rush, but it’s next to impossible when he starts craving more of that contact, greedy for every inch of bare skin that Kylo allows him. He almost doesn’t feel worthy of it, but he was just selfish enough not to care.

Kylo was  _his._ And Hux was determined to make it so he might never regret that decision, not tonight, not ever.

And finally,  _finally,_ they ended up on top of those perfectly made sheets, Hux pulling Kylo down on top of him with eager but gentle hands. He’s so greedy, so aching, but there’s no point in being pushy when Kylo is all but pouring himself into his lover’s hands, willing to give and give and give.

But before he ends up completely pinned, Hux manages to push himself upright, his back pressed to the cool metal headboard behind him. He wants Kylo in his lap—wants to be able to wrap his arms around him and gather him close. He wants a position that will force them to move slowly, to feel every shift and shiver. He wants Kylo to be kind to himself, and not push his body too far too quickly.

And Kylo seems to be just as happy to oblige him, moving to straddle Hux’s hips more gracefully than his long limbs should allow. They share another kiss, lazy and eager all at once as Kylo settles there in his lap, and they both sigh their pleasure. 

But just as Hux opens his mouth to ask about the details of preparation, Kylo is already a step ahead of him, leaning over to dig through one of his beside drawers. A second later he returned with a small bottle of oil, but when it looks as though he might just pour it into his own hand, Hux intervenes, plucking it from his fingers with a little twitch of a grin. 

"Let me." 

Kylo watches him with lust-blown eyes, tracking Hux's hands the whole way until they're suddenly back behind him, and his gaze slips shut with another shuddery sigh. Hux tries so hard to keep his focus where he needs it, but it's impossible when Kylo already looks like he's coming undone, lips flushed and parted with each breath. 

It's all too easy to let his slick fingers dip down along the cleft of Kylo's ass, teasing over the hidden rim of his entrance for only a brief moment before he's pressing one inside. Part of him thinks he could go on forever just like this, and maybe someday he will. But today is not that day, because he wants so much more, and that fuzzy feeling around the corners of his mind tell him that Kylo wants it, too. 

He nudges a second finger inside when the first slots into place so easily, curling them up inside Ren's body, earning a choked sort of noise from the Knight, who has his hands on Hux's shoulders. They slide down onto his chest, his palms burning hot against his skin but Hux loves it. He eases his fingers deeper then back out again, the slick slide making his cock twitch in jealous anticipation. 

And by now, Kylo's all but rocking back against him, hips rolling against his hand like it's just not enough. He has his forehead pressed to Hux's, dark curls tangling with fiery gold as he gasps and pants and  _whines_ as if he's being torn apart. But Hux tries not to let it rush him, only stopping once he's sure Kylo has been so thoroughly prepared. 

Kylo murmurs his name when he pulls his fingers free at last, a soft plea that isn't asking for anything in particular but  _him_ , and it gives Hux such a rush of power that all he can do is devour him in another kiss and lick the sound of it from his mouth. And as he does, he curls his hand around himself instead, slicking up his cock with a couple quick strokes. 

Once that's taken care of, he moves both hands to Kylo's hips, pulling gently at him to urge him forward just another inch or two. It has his thickening cock nudged up against Hux's belly, smearing pre-come along the soft trail of hair dusted over his navel and earning another weak moan from his Knight. But more importantly, it finally has him in position to be properly taken, with Hux's own cock brushing up along the curve of his ass. 

"Ready?" He murmurs, one last warning before he's reaching up under Kylo's body to guide himself into place. He lets the thick head of his cock nudge against him, pressed flush against the tight clutch of his entrance, but he doesn't push inside. It isn't his call to set the pace, not now. He wants Kylo to be the one to take his pleasure, to deem himself worthy of it. And so he puts his other hand on Ren's hip, gently urging him to relax and bear down, sinking onto his cock at a nearly glacial pace. 

"Slow, Kylo...Slow," Hux reminds him, almost begs, as if he's some delicate creature there in his lap that needs to be cherished and protected--in this case, even from himself, as he tries to move too quickly. Maybe Kylo couldn't feel any lingering pain, but he was still wounded just that morning, and the memory of it has Hux feeling more cautious than usual. He deserves to be cared for, for once in his life. 

And Kylo answers with a nonverbal sort of sound, a breathy huff that isn't quite an agreement but isn't exactly an argument, either. He's got his eyes shut, his features a little pinched in his concentration. Hux had moved his arm around his waist to steady him, but he lifts the other so he can cup Kylo's face, gently sweeping the pad of his thumb over his brow to smooth out the tense lines that have formed there. 

It's a painfully intimate gesture, and Kylo finally opens his eyes, dark and heavy-lidded as he regards the man beneath him. Hux can't really identify the expression in them, like some mix of fondness and disbelief. Like someone who'd been given an unbelievable gift and was waiting to find out that it was all a cruel joke. It made Hux's chest go tight, filled with a fierce sort of determination that he'd never let it come to that. Never again. 

And maybe Kylo feels it too, because they both seem to surge forward at the same time, meeting in the middle in a passionate clash so rough and so soft all at once. He keeps his hand on Kylo's face as they kiss, cupping his jaw to keep him cradled close. As if there was the very real fear that Kylo might want to pull away. 

But even when Kylo has to break their kiss for a desperate gasp, he didn't even try. He just pants against Hux's mouth as he gives his hips an almost involuntary little swivel, sinking the rest of the way down onto his cock. It seems as though that last inch must have been the most difficult, given the way Ren is clutching at him now, hands scrabbling for purchase against his chest, almost trembling in his lap as he adjusts to the new angle. But Hux needs to be sure that the way his body is responding is out of an overwhelming pleasure, and not pain. 

"Ren--...Kylo, breathe. You're all right. I need you to be all right," he murmurs, tipping his head up to press a kiss to Kylo's lower lip and the corner of his mouth.

Kylo lets out another shuddering breath, escaping from him in a rush as he let go of a tiny bit of that tension. Hux could feel it, his body seeming a touch heavier against him, muscles less tense as he finally learns to stop fighting it. 

"I'm all right," Kylo finally answers, and Hux could hear the wet  _click_ of his throat as he works to get the words out. "I'm--... _feels_  so..."

Kylo stumbles over the syllables, like too many thoughts and feelings to put in so few sentences. And as he struggles through it, he moves to wind his arms around Hux's neck, curled around his shoulders like an anchor sinking into the sand.

"Feels so  _good.."_

It's nearly an overwhelmed sob when it finally breaks free, and Hux promptly gathers him up into his arms, wrapping them around Kylo's waist to bring their bodies flush together. Words don't seem to be good enough anymore, as he kisses Ren for all he's worth, tasting him as though this might be the last night they ever spend together. It won't be, not if he has anything to say about it. But it feels just the same, desperate and so  _vulnerable_ , intimate in a way Hux never thought he'd be capable of. 

With the position they're in, there isn't much room or leverage for dramatic movement--no pounding thrusts, no pistoning hips. It's just the way Hux wants it to be, forcing them to move together if they want any friction at all. But with his cock buried so deeply inside the over-sensitive clutch of Kylo's body, he has the feeling it won't take much. Given the way Kylo was practically shaking already, he was certain he was already pressing against all the right spots, filling him in way he'd never quite experienced before. 

But Kylo finally moves a little then, rolling his hips against Hux's just enough to have him breaking their kiss with a gasp, a breathy  _'ah'_ that Hux quickly decides he wants more of. And so he gives Kylo's mouth a break, instead lavishing kisses over his jaw and throat as he encourages his Knight to take what he needs. It's a deep grind, nudging his cock just a little deeper and then easing back again each time. But it feels like just enough, like neither of them could bear the thought of putting so much as a single inch of space between them as they move.

It goes on like that for a while longer, Hux's hands splayed wide over Kylo's back as he rocks in his lap with an increasing sense of urgency. He can feel Kylo's arms tightening around his shoulders, his face buried in his neck as he muffles his cries. And it's such a raw sort of sound, each moan and whimper a noise that seems as though it's been dragged up from his chest without his permission. 

The entire thing feels so strangely new, so unlike every other time they'd been together. Hux had never been cold enough to force Kylo out of his bed once they were finished, but things had never been quite so deeply intimate before, the bond between them so warm and  _alive_  as they hold each other. And for once, it doesn't exactly feel like they're chasing after their pleasure the way they usually do. As Kylo clenches around his cock, chokes out another keening noise, it feels so remarkably like they're simply sitting there willing, too wrapped up in each other to do anything but let the pleasure wash over them however it sees fit. 

And so when that pressure begins to build and crest, he's powerless to stop it. 

Hux gets one hand around Kylo's cock where it's trapped between them, and he's rewarded with another pulsing flutter, Ren's body so slick and hot around him, dragging another breathless moan from his throat. He doesn't even move his hand much, just gives Kylo something to fuck into as he rolls his hips in a movement so beautifully fluid and yet clumsy and needy, finally  _finally_ taking control of his own pleasure. 

Hux can't even form the words, doesn't even try. He just holds onto him, presses his mouth to the pale curve of Kylo's neck, and nudges so gently against his lover's thoughts with nothing but a mindless stream of praise and pleas, telling him how beautiful he looks, how good he feels, how he wants nothing more than to feel him come undone. 

It's with one last whisper of Kylo's name that Hux finally feels him go rigid there in his lap, everything going tight and tense before the dam finally breaks and he comes with a choked sob. The noise is buried there against his throat as Kylo clings to him, riding it out with the tiniest little thrusts of his hips, the soft passage of his body squeezing tight around his cock. 

And that's how Hux finally comes, letting Kylo milk him of his release with a rough gasp. He pants against the Knight's shoulder, feeling the ripples of it long after he's passed the crest of his climax. It isn't the hard and fast sort of orgasm he's accustomed to--it doesn't sneak up on him or leave him feeling like he might black out. No, it was a slow-building warmth there in his belly, spilling over only when the time was right. 

He can't be sure if it was the same for Kylo, but he has to guess that maybe it's a close thing, as he goes so limp and pliant in his lap, arms still wrapped around him. 

There's a moment of heavy silence between them as they work to catch their breath. But still, Kylo keeps his face tucked into the curve of his throat, even after their chests stop heaving. And Hux can't help but start to worry, fearful that maybe something was wrong, that he's in  _pain,_ that he'd managed to hurt him. But when he lifts a shaky hand to cup Kylo's face and gently coax him out of hiding, he feels a certain dampness there streaking down his cheek. And it only takes a second to understand. 

Wordlessly, he turns his face toward Kylo who does the same, loosening his grip on the General's shoulders just enough that he claim one more kiss, so gentle it makes his chest ache. 

Hux can taste the salt on his lips.

But Kylo promises that he's never been happier. 

 

And Hux believes him. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! As always, let me know what you think, come find me on tumblr, roll around in all these space feels with me. 
> 
> This chapter is gifted to Oorsprong, who has been nothing but amazing and amazingly supportive throughout all my whining and moping and bouts of writer's block. <3


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